I am so very thankful for technology like speaker phones, bluetooth, and other hands-free options for talking on the phone. I rarely use these however, these inventions make me feel less like a crazy person while driving in my car. I often use my driving time to verbally process things, talking to myself and God, with no one else in the car. I used to get a little self-conscious about this habit before the advent of this technology, but now I don’t care because, if a person sees me, they’ll likely that I’m talking on the phone and not to myself.
Today, as I was driving in the car, my brain went to a strange picture that I hadn’t really thought of before. I imagined myself covered in a veil, invisible to most people. I’ve revealed portions of myself to those closest to me: some have seen a hand, others a foot, some have seen my right side, others have seen my back, but no one has seen me fully. I have strategically and selectively chosen to stay shrouded behind my veil, content to remain in the shadows, where I feel God has set me for a specific period of time.
The veil’s coming off.
I feel like the season of hiding is rapidly coming to an end. I can feel my invisibility cloak, my safety net, my security blanket, being pulled off of me inch by inch. While that seems exciting, I also have to ask myself “Are you ready?”
For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about my recent inactivity. When you’re being passed over or perceive that you’re being ignored, it’s really easy to complain instead of doing work. I can honestly say that I don’t know if I’m ready for the next season I’m ramping up to. I see character defects, flaws in my leadership capabilities, deficits in my self-discipline, and doubts in myself. I think to myself “I could be so much further along,” or “I could be so much closer to God,” had I just worked a little harder, instead of complaining.
There’s still time.
The good thing about God is that he’s gracious and patient. If your heart is still beating, it means you’re not too late. I’m not too late. Sure, I squandered a lot of my time, but that doesn’t mean it’s a total waste. I can change and do those preparatory things I know need to be done. I can develop those necessary habits in my life now, before I find myself thrust into another season unprepared.
If you feel invisible right now, let me just tell you that God sees you. He knows exactly who you are, where you are, and what you’re struggling with. More than that, he knows your character, your future, and your past. When you’re passed over or someone turns a blind eye toward you, that could potentially be the best gift He could ever give you. In that moment, he’s giving you more time to spend with Him. He’s offering you the opportunity to become more like Him and respond like Him. Jesus lived in obscurity for most of his life, waiting patiently, growing and developing his character, his rapport and relationships with God and man (Luke 2:52). The Lord affords each of us the same opportunity, though this time looks differently for each of us.
Even if you’re shrouded behind your invisibility cloak, you’re not hidden from God. Your time will come but only after a time of patiently waiting with and on Him. Spend time with that still, small voice, listening to his instruction and his love for you. It’s my hope and prayer that we all know what our next steps are during this time of isolation and preparation. In fact, let’s pray together right now…
Lord, I thank you for this season, this opportunity of intimacy with you. I pray the each person reading this will grow closer to you, lean in to hear you, and have the courage to obey your voice. I thank you that you are loving enough to tell us “no” and “wait”, even when it makes no sense to us. Please give each of us the eyes to see and the ears to hear you as we continue journeying with you. Amen!