Awed by Faithfulness

Have you ever made a decision and then thought “What on earth was I thinking?” after it was all said and done? Me too. Have you ever asked that question about something that God told you to do? I sure have!

This morning when I woke up I immediately began praying, which is becoming a regular occurrence for me, something I’m immensely excited about! Then, as I read the Bible and continued to pray I imagined me at my grandma’s old, little, folding card table that we’d play poker on when I was a kid. In my hands I was holding all of my ideas: my businesses, my writing, my dreams, my books, my life plan, all of it was in my hands. Historically, I’ve been that person who holds their cards close to their vest, not wanting to reveal my hand. I’m that person who always has something up their sleeve; I’m never fully seen, not every option is shown, I always have a backup plan.

But today, instead of hiding the cards or putting them in my pocket and leaving that card table, I decided to lay it all out there. What an uncomfortable place to be in! Here I am, with all of my plans, all of my dreams, out there in the open for God to do what he will with them. In the past, I’ve held one or two of them back for whatever reason, whether out of fear or rebellion or doubt. I would hold my writing back, seeing that as a foregone conclusion that God would bless, not realizing that, at the time, I didn’t want his input on what I was writing. I had my schedule and my timeline drawn up and that was the way it was going to go.

But the Lord has been rearranging things in my heart. I can now freely give these plans to him. I can confidently lay all my cards on the table and trust that it’s going to work out for my benefit. But, more than that, when I give my plans to Him, lay them at his feet, and trust Him to guide and direct me, He gets the glory and others are blessed too.

When I trust God with my plans, He is faithful.
And when I am faithful, He is faithful.
When I am not faithful, He is faithful.

I’m in the middle of a “What was I thinking?” season, yet God has continued to show up; His faithfulness is so apparent to me. I find myself repeating again and again “I am in awe of your faithfulness”.

I can echo what Jeremiah said in Lamentations 3:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.””

I obviously don’t know your story, but I know, in every season of my life, in the good times and the bad and everything in between, God has been faithful and he has been good to me. He is faithful and true to his character. Those amazing things written about him in the Bible are as true today as they were then. His faithfulness isn’t conditional and based on performance, it is constant. His faithfulness encourages and challenges us to live out our lives the best we can.

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