Why Not Me?

Earlier this week I posted that God is indeed willing to heal us. I am completely convinced that he loves us and seeks the best for his kids. But what about those times when we don’t get what we pray for? What do you do in those times when God appears to be silent? How do we react when it seems as though he is willing to do something for everyone other than me?

These are all great questions and ones that I’ve had to process through numerous times. I’ve shared about some of my health struggles on here before, but for those of you who don’t know, I live in constant pain. Some days are bad days and some days are okay days, but I don’t remember what it feels like to not be in pain. In spurts of faith I would pray or have others pray for my healing, but when it came down to it, nothing would change. There have been many times when I’ve left a church service in more pain than I was in when I arrived. More than that, I’ve prayed for other people to be healed and they’ve been healed instantly or over time, and yet, I have remained in pain. Talk about discouraging!!

Some of the most faithful couples I know are in a similar situation when it comes to infertility. They long so deeply for a child but, for whatever reasons, they’ve been unable to conceive. These church leaders, some of them pastors, have cried out to God, have done all they can do, and served Him faithfully and still they remain without the child they long so deeply for.

I believe we all have areas like this in our lives. You might be struggling with still being single or interceding for a wayward child or unable to get a job to support your family. Whatever the request is that seems to have fallen on deaf ears, I’m sorry that you’re going through that. I truly am.

So how do you handle this situation? How do you process through disappointment? How do you reconcile the stories of Jesus miraculously healing with the apparent lack we see today? How do you deal with the restoration he’s made available with the brokenness you’re facing? What do we do with these discrepancies?

Let’s put on our imagination caps for a moment and put ourselves into a story. I want you to imagine what it would’ve been like to be one of Jesus’s disciples. You followed him around, learned from him, and watched him minister to and heal countless people during his 3 years of ministry. You willingly left the life you knew before, trading it in to be his follower; you placed all your faith, hope, and trust in him. You exchanged your family for him and your job for him; your reputation was securely hitched to his. You grew to love and respect him, viewing him as a confidant and friend. You knew that he was the son of God, the promised Messiah, the one who would rule and reign for all eternity.

Then he died.

Imagine the darkness, the hopelessness, the anguish and despair the disciples felt in that moment. Those 3 days probably felt like an eternity of grief. Some of them likely felt shame and guilt; all were probably fearful and confused.

But he didn’t stay dead.

Jesus had to die so he could raise to life again. He had to die for us. He had to suffer for our sins. He had to take our place. He had to experience death so our relationship could be restored.

This gives me hope. There are areas of my life right now that are dead but Jesus has shown us that it’s not the end. I might be in pain as I’m writing this, but I know that’s not the end of my story. I will be healed one day. You might be feeling the hopelessness of isolation or depression or lack or exhaustion or a thousand other things and I want to encourage you to keep coming back to him and keep pursuing him. The same God that raised Him from the dead is able to raise life in you. That will end up looking a little different for each of us, but, in the midst of the pain, bring your emotions, your grief, your trauma, your concerns to him because he is faithful.

“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.” 

Romans 8:11