Community: Honest

“Honesty is the best policy” is a nice little rhyme that has been touted for many years, though I’ve wondered if it really is the best policy. And, honestly, I don’t know that it always is. Let me explain: I used to think that honesty was the ultimate virtue in our lives. I was determined to be honest at all costs. Which sounds great, until you begin hurting people with your brutal honesty. You see, the foundation of my honesty wasn’t love so it wasn’t always expressed well. I would change that phrase to “Love is the best policy” because, if you love someone you’ll be honest with them and so much more.

An important part of community is accountability and accountability requires honesty. First, we have to know that the community is a safe space for us to share our true selves – without that safe space as the foundation, there’s no way that we can truly be honest.

But the honesty doesn’t end there. The people in community with us have to be able to be honest with us when we need to hear the hard truths. I have certain people in my life who I know, if they bring something to my attention, are doing it out of love and not to hurt me. When truth is spoken in love I am more likely to respond well to it.

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds, and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Ephesians 4:11-16

Being able to speak the truth in love is a sign of maturity.
The ability to grow in this area is a sign of maturity.
The ability to apply the truths to our lives is a sign of maturity.

This means that speaking honestly and lovingly is an area in which we can all improve {tweet this}.

Do you struggle with being honest with others? If so, why? Again, there’s no judgement here. I went from cold as ice, hard as stone, uncaring what my brutal honesty did to anyone, to being a people-pleaser who struggles to have hard conversations with certain people. No matter which end of the spectrum you’re on, I understand.

I encourage you to love your community well this week. This might mean having a hard conversation with someone and, if that’s the case, I pray that the Lord would give you the right words to say and the courage to follow through.

Let’s love well, my friends! 

Download Community: You’re Welcome at the Table, a free PDF, at



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  1. Agreed! It’s weird…I have a post remarkably similar to this that I wrote on a whim in a challenge from my daughter about “always” telling the truth. i.e. Rahab lied to the soldiers of Jericho about the spies of Israel and it was accounted as righteousness to her! Great minds think alike!!

    Liked by 1 person

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