Community: For the Gents

I wanted to write a blog posts specifically for the guys about why men need authentic community, but as I sat down to type it out, I realized just how silly that idea was. I’m not a man, so I figured I’d ask a man to write this post.

Doug is both a big softy and an intimidating tough guy. He is an Honorably Discharged U.S. Army veteran who counsels other vets as they re-acclimate to civilian life. He is passionate about recovery and helps others find the same freedom he has experienced for over 28 years. Doug is an avid reader and a lifetime learner so, you guys are in for a treat today!

Recently I talked to a group of veterans about their lives after they left the military. There are two things each of them said they missed: camaraderie and a bigger mission. Each of these men desired to find a way to replace these missing elements in their lives. Truth be told, most men miss old friends, old teammates, and college buddies.

I would submit to you that men desire to be part of something bigger in their lives: something that makes a difference, something that matters. At the same time, we want to find a place of connection and esprit de corps: to be part of a team, a squad, a tight-knit group.

Jesus showed us the model for us to follow. He drew 12 men into a close group who, while not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, changed the world. Jesus knew the enemy of men was the greatest sniper in the history of mankind. Satan likes nothing better than to feed lies to men and get them alone, separated by work, past failures, temptations, and even pride or ego.

The problem, as any veteran knows, is that when you are alone you are exposed to the threats of the enemy on every side. A soldier can only “walk point” for so long. He can’t see 360 degrees around him to know where the threat is coming from. Our lives are the same. The enemy wants to separate, then attack any man he can. He knows that if he wounds and defeats a man he can affect a whole family.

We, as men, need to embrace the truth that together we are a force to reckoned with. When Satan sees you back in the game, surrounded by other faithful men, he knows he no longer has an uncovered target. When we men establish community with each other, when we embrace the “mission” our King Jesus put before us, then we can change the world. Let’s get our band of brothers around us and go find the man who is walking alone. We need him and he needs us.

Download Community: You’re Welcome at the Table, a free PDF, at



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  1. Hi Sarah, I don’t know of anyone who understands and writes so much about community. Well done; well doing.

    I host a men’s group in my home and over time we’ve moved from being content centred to relationship oriented. At my stage of life I am happy to practice growing friendship and communion. Your many articles on community reminded me of this prayer/poem:

    Grace to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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