What are your triggers? What are the things that, when they happen, send you back to unhealthy behaviors?
I have two main ones: money stress and health issues.
When my bank account has too little in it and/or my pain level goes through the roof, I begin to doubt. I revert back to needing to fix everything myself. I want to take things back from God, thinking that I can manage whatever it is a little better. When things begin to go not as I want or not as I think they should go, my trust level quickly begins to dwindle.
Recently, I’ve been stressed about money. I’ve spent a lot of time praying and even more time working and striving to get myself to a position where I once again feel comfortable. But, while I was praying and seeking the Lord about this subject, I realized that I wasn’t really stressed about money–it was just a symptom of a much deeper and sinister root.
The real problem is that I want control.
The truth is that I don’t want to depend or rely on anyone else, I want to manage it all myself. I want to be the hero of my story. I want to pull myself up by my bootstraps and show how great I am.
I want to take matters into my own hands and begin making moves but I don’t feel released to do so. I know I’m right where I need to be, right where he’s called me to be, even though I am wildly uncomfortable.
And it’s in that tension that God is kindly and patiently inviting me to trust him.
I find it amazing how so many things come down to trust. In conversations lately, a friend and I will begin talking about one issue but, by the end, we’re back onto the topic of trust. No matter what we’re going through or what our outward circumstances look like, God is beckoning us to trust him more deeply.
What symptom is currently at the forefront of your mind?
And what’s at the root of it?
I encourage you to spend some time with him today examining your heart and mind. Invite him to come and pull up those unhealthy roots in your heart so that you begin bearing healthy, life-giving fruit. Let’s move past treating the symptom and choose to get down to the root of things!