One of my former bosses loved to lob bombs of information at the team and then quickly leave so we could deal with the fallout on our own. It always led to some rather humorous conversations with him the next day when he returned to the office. Sometimes these grenades of truth led to an easy fix, other times they created a large headache for our whole team. But, regardless, we always found a way to solve the problem. We always dealt with the bombs he lobbed at us.
But what happens when you get a bomb dropped on you that you don’t know how to handle?
In her book, The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Seen, Lisa Gungor writes about the day when her husband, Michael, told her that he didn’t think he believed in God anymore. Now, he’s a pastor’s kid, has toured the country praising God, and was, at the time, a pastor of a church they founded. Talk about getting the wind knocked out of you! And that’s how Lisa felt. She didn’t know how to process this information because this wasn’t what she had signed up for.
As I read through her description of this moment, I found myself feeling heartbroken because she had no one she could share this with. To me, the confession was nothing compared to isolation it caused her.
“I couldn’t tell my best friend, Rachael; I didn’t want to scare her. I couldn’t tell Bre or Jamie; I didn’t want to freak them out or give them any unrequested doubts of their own. I didn’t think there was anyone I could hand this kind of bomb to.” The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Seen, p. 97
After I read that page, I uttered the phrase “I want to be the type of person that bomb can be handed to”.
And then I stopped in my tracks. I sat, legs crossed on the couch, in silence, the creaking of the fan the only sound filling the room. I hadn’t ever thought about that before. I, like Lisa, hadn’t once considered that I might be in a situation where a person I love, who is currently following God wholeheartedly, might say “I think I don’t believe in God anymore”. But, the more I thought about it, the more certain I felt. If that happens, I want to be someone that person can come to.
Because I think, in a moment like that, a person struggling with doubt like that, primarily needs someone to just sit with them. I don’t know that verses or instruction or correction are the answers right at that moment. It might be simpler than that–just someone to sit there and hold onto that bomb for a moment.
And truth bombs come in all shapes and sizes:
“I slept with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”
“I don’t think I want to continue living.”
Life is hard and–Christian or not, devoted or not–there are moments where doubt and lies can seep in and take the reins. Circumstances will blindside us and layers of unvoiced confessions that have been lurking below the surface finally come to a head. None of us are immune to it, but I believe we can create safe spaces for others when they feel knocked around by life. We can be those people who create spaces of love and empathy for honesty to be expressed even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable.
Who do you know who you can hand a bomb to when things are hard?
Are you a person who others can hand a bomb to?
To go Deeper: Read The Most Beautiful Thing I’ve Seen
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Sometimes all that is required of us is to just be there for others when they go through life’s storms, no judging or prejudice.
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Yes, I completely agree! That can be the most loving thing we can do for others!
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