I’m not great with change.
Honestly, by now I should probably be used to change, but I’m not there just yet. I like routine as long as I’m not stifled. I like spontaneity, as long as I have enough time to prepare. And I enjoy having things done a particular way within a certain timetable. But I’m working on it; rather, I’m allowing God to work on me.
Lately, my prayer has been for God to show me what needs to change. I’ve been asking him what needs to be cut out or what I need to take a step back from. For a while, I thought he wasn’t answering me, which was entirely perplexing because I knew I couldn’t keep doing everything and remain sane. But the truth is, I wasn’t listening. I didn’t want the answer he was giving.
I’ve realized that one of the things I need to cut down on in this next season is this blog. To me, this is counterintuitive, plus I really like writing on here. While I’m not cutting it out entirely, I am going to cut back on posts, choosing to post twice a week instead of three times. I’m going to intersperse older posts of mine as best I can (because there’s actually some good stuff in the depths of this blog), but it might not happen every week.
This is so hard for me to do. As I’m typing this, I’m trying to mentally rearrange my schedule to fit this in because I want to do it all. I don’t want to have to accept the fact that I have limitations but, the truth is, I have many limitations, it’s just part of being human. And that’s okay.
Though I want to try and hold on and risk my sanity, I’m choosing to let go and step back a little bit so my focus can lie elsewhere. I know this season will be an immensely stretching time for me as I choose to care for myself more than I have in the past.
Is there anything that God is calling you to cut out? Or step back from?
Have you added anything to your plate that he hasn’t asked you to do?
And, last but not least, are you caring for yourself? Are you regularly gauging your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health?
I encourage you to spend some time silently with God and just ask him what he is speaking to you today. It’s my hope and prayer that we would each have the courage to do the things that God is calling us to do, no matter how terrifying or uncomfortable they might be.