I’m always a little thrown when someone gets to know me really well. I like to think of myself as this unknowable being who’s too detached from others to be figured out. Thankfully, that is not the case and there are many people who I have been able to let behind the curtain and get to know me, warts and all.
The other day at work, I laughed at an email informing me that someone had messed something up that my team would have to fix. My coworker turned to me and asked, “uh-oh, who messed up this time?” Apparently, unbeknownst to me, I have a particular laugh that I only use when someone has made a stupid mistake. This coworker has worked with me for long enough that she knows my mannerisms so well that she can anticipate certain things that I will say or do.
How do you react when someone can read you really well?
I’m always a bit shocked. I have friends who can tell I’m having a bad day based purely on my texting mannerisms. These are the same friends who will tell me to eat even before I’ve realized that I’m hungry.
A couple months ago, I was battling intense discontentment. I tend to have at least a little discontentment infused into my day, but during that time it was on overdrive. My perceived lack was the dominant voice in my ears and it was difficult for me to focus on anything else.
During that time, I had two opportunities to change my situation completely. My first reaction to these was annoyance, then frustration, then excitement at the possibility of change. And then I prayed about these opportunities for a minute, got an almost immediate “no”, and then had many more questions for the Lord about this topic.
And as I prayed and thought about those events, I realized that this follows the normal pattern in my life. I will get frustrated and discontent and seek a way out. The Lord will provide an opportunity if I want to take it, but I won’t have the peace to follow. Then I come face to face with the realization that following the Lord’s instructions is more important than my own desires. So, instead of feeling stuck and discontent, I make the decision to stay and follow through even when things are hard. Then I am able to continue on better than I was before, until the cycle begins again.
As I recognized this pattern all over my life, I realized just how well the Lord knows me. He knows me better than I know myself. He understands when I’m beginning to cycle before I do and always has opportunities for me to choose his way. He is always inviting me to choose health even though much of the time I would prefer dysfunction.
It’s so easy to think of God as some aloof guy who sees us all the same and treats us all in the same cookie-cutter way or according to some predefined set of rules—after all, there are like 8 billion people currently alive, how could he possibly see and know each of us individually like that? But he is that amazing, that big, and that good.
Now, as I look at my life, I’m in a very different place than I was just a couple months ago when I was battling through discontentment. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I’m in a healthier place than I was and I genuinely believe that it’s at least partially due to the fact that I chose to be obedient and continue following. I’m incredibly grateful for those opportunities I had to go my own way so that I could choose to follow him instead. The free will that God has given us is an incredible gift! And the way that he strategically leads us back to himself is more amazing than I can comprehend.
What are the little ways God reminds you that he knows you really well?
How have you seen God’s hand in your life recently?