Last week, I began working from home, which has been quite an interesting challenge. A co-worker messaged me the other day and wrote “You’re probably LOVING working from home! Am I right?” Then she was shocked by my response.
Even though I am an introvert and I love being at home, I know that it’s not good for me to be alone or stuck indoors all day every day. If I isolate myself, don’t go outside, and don’t interact with others daily, I can easily fall into a deep depression or get so focused on working that I neglect myself. While part of me loves working from home, the larger part of me is having to be vigilant in this season. I’m being forced to check in with myself regularly to see exactly how I’m doing.
The truth is that we’re in a scary and unprecedented time. Tensions are high, we’re being stressed on all sides, and we are kind of flying blind. If you’re stuck inside with kids and your spouse all day every day, you’re probably about to pull your hair out, wring their necks, or some combination of the two. If you live alone, you might be wondering if you’re just going to get weirder and weirder the longer you stay that way.
So I just want to ask you this simple question: How are you doing?
This is not a trick question and the only way to get the question “wrong” is by not being honest.
Today, honestly, I just wanted to stay in bed. I didn’t want to get up and read my Bible and I didn’t want to talk with God. When I asked myself this question, I realized just how fatigued I have been feeling. Instead of acknowledging that and responding appropriately to it, I judge myself. As I’m typing this, I’m beating myself up for feeling exhausted when there are many people who are in a much more difficult position than I currently am.
God is shining a light on our beliefs so he can heal and restore.
This season, while uncomfortable and inconvenient, is an opportunity for us to examine parts of our hearts that we might not otherwise. I believe that God wants to shine a light on the things that we think and believe so that he can heal and restore areas of brokenness and pain.
I could feel fatigued for many different reasons, but I believe it’s at least partially because of worry and stress. I always register stress in my body before I feel the emotion, and that’s probably what’s happening right now. I believe that God wants me to bring those things to him and let go, instead of trying to hold everything together on my own.
This shame game is one that I often experience. I will feel an emotion, realize it’s an emotion, and then almost immediately shame myself for it. This is not a healthy response nor is it from God. He created us as emotional beings and my shaming myself for feeling a feeling is not part of the abundant life he’s called me to. I believe he’s shining a light on my dependence on shame so that it can be evicted from my heart and mind.
I encourage you to take a few moments and check in with yourself today. Ask yourself how you’re doing and sit in silence for a moment and listen. What emotions are you feeling? Where are your thoughts going? How are you physically? Relationally? Spiritually?
Then let’s take those things to God. He’s a loving father who cares for us more deeply than we can imagine. He doesn’t shame or berate us for our feelings, thoughts, or beliefs. He wants us to run to him, where we can be healed and set free. And I’m so grateful for that!
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