Posted by I had never heard of Pastor Mike Todd or Transformation Church until a friend of mine began sharing about a sermon series called “Relationship Goals” that had been absolutely wrecking her (in the best way, of course). She was single and wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship at the time, so I was confused about why a sermon series on romantic relationships would be so impactful for her. So I started watching the series on Youtube, purely out of curiosity and I finished the whole thing in a weekend.
Though I am single and have no desire or intention to change that any time soon, the truth Pastor Mike shared in the sermon series “Relationship Goals” was life-changing. And his recently released book, also titled Relationship Goals is just as powerful, no matter your current relationship status.
I think we can all agree that our society is really bad at relationships (not just romantic ones), yet we continue to take advice from the world instead of seeing what God has to say about having healthy and God-honoring relationships. But what I love about both the sermon series and the book Relationship Goals is that Pastor Mike focuses on our relationship with God as the foundation for every other relationship.
It’s so easy to think that our problems might be solved if we just find the “right person” (spouse, business partner, friend group, etc.). Or if we make the person we’ve chosen into the “right person”—many women are guilty of wanting and even trying to “change her man,” resulting in a lot of hurt and frustration. This “right person” tactic can only have short-term benefits unless we’re also working on becoming the “right person”. If we think introducing another human person, with all of their hurts, habits, and hangups into our mess is going to fix anything, we clearly haven’t met another human before. And yet, that’s the lie that society feeds us day in and day out.
“… I thought the marriage equation was 1/2 + 1/2 = 1. In my mind, that was why people call their spouses “my other half” and say things like “You complete me.”
Jerry Maguire is such a liar.
I’ve been married for some years now, but I realized early on that my original marriage equation was all wrong. The equation for marriage is really this: 1 + 1 + 1 = 1… One whole man plus one whole woman plus God in their midst creates one healthy marriage.” p. 142
So many people have bought the lie that a relationship will fix their problems. If they just find the “right person,” then that sin issue or hurt or habit will be fixed. There’s often not an emphasis on using our time to work on ourselves, spend time alone with ourselves and God to heal before attaching our lives to someone else.
Throughout Relationship Goals, Pastor Mike constantly encourages us to go spend time with God, regardless of our relationship status or our personal relationship goals. Then, out of the outpouring of the freedom, healing, and grace we’ve received, we can build healthy friendships, marriages, families, and businesses.
I recommend reading Relationship Goals regardless of your relationship status. Even if you’ve been married for forever, there’s a lot of wisdom in the pages about caring for yourself and intentionally dating your spouse. There is plenty of encouragement and practical steps for those who have been dating in ways that are less than God’s best. And there’s hope and celebration of those who are single whether by choice or circumstance.
Relationship Goals is an invitation to examine our relationship with God and ourselves, knowing that they are the foundation for every human relationship.
Have you read Relationship Goals?
How are you intentionally deepening your relationship with God and yourself during this season?
To go Deeper: Read Stop the Unintentional Single-Shaming, Making Time for Reflection
Disclosure: Some links in this post are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
Work in Progress 
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